Whilst I'm really happy for him I can't help but feel a terrible twinge of envy and jealousy in equal measure.
I feel so silly, but I really thought that one day we might be together, but now he's with this stick thin gorgeous blonde.
I'm so fat it sickens me. He's so beautiful and he doesn't even know it, he's super talented and just an incredible person all round.
FUCK.
I shouldn't feel this way, I have a devoted partner who loves me for who I am. But I just feel like I'm spiralling.
Bring on the alcohol...I wanna drown the world out, just for a day. Act like nothing exists and I can drift away into oblivion.
I haven't felt this low in a while. I know I need to keep writing, my book won't finish itself. I just don't have the willpower. I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear for a while.
::hangs head and sighs::
Fuck.
AK xoxo
I've felt like that too, even when I've been in a relationship. It's the whole "look, but don't touch thing" and then again not. It's complicated. I hope that you're happy with your man and that he supports you and treats you like the princess you are, that all us girls are! =)
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