Official Diagnosis, Received Loud And Clear

Today's weight = 138lbs.  I was 137lbs yesterday but I kinda stuffed my fat face until my cheeks swelled like a gerbil's and my jaw ached.  I blame eBay for screwing me over when I was bidding on a brand new Radley bag causing me to lose.  Ultimately I blame myself of course but you know, it's nice to know I had a helping hand.


My stomach aches today to a point where I feel sick, not sure what's going on.  And, I am absolutely FREEZING!  My fingers keep going numb and seizing up which isn't pleasant.


When I went seeing the CBT, Pauline, I signed up to receive a copy of all the letters sent to other health professionals regarding my disorder.  At the time she said I was EDNOS but she thought I was leaning more towards the bulimia nervosa side of the spectrum and she would give me a full and proper diagnosis once she'd had more time to study my case notes.


My copy of the letter she has sent to my GP came today.  It makes for sad reading.  I didn't honestly think things were so bad but when you see them all pieced together like a jigsaw suddenly it all fits, and the big picture is grim.  The truth is though that I still don't feel I'm doing anything wrong.  I do however, need to purchase some more reliable scales I think as the ones she weighed me on said I was heavier than my ones at home.  Time to go digital perhaps.  Better start saving up.  I also want to buy a HRM so I can get an idea of how many cals I burn throughout the day just doing my usual daily things like walking my son to school and tidying the house.  Anyway, after much reading with utter disbelief, there it was.  Three tiny words that mean something a lot bigger than I thought.  Diagnosis:  Bulimia Nervosa.


I'm not sure I'm ready to accept that I have a problem, because I don't see what I'm doing as anything any other dieter in the world is doing.  Reading labels/packets, choosing my food carefully, avoiding junk food, and exercising. See, doesn't sound so bad when you put it like that. But if you put it how they do, it sounds ten times worse than it is:


'...will only eat what she herself prepares.'
'...she feels addicted to the loss on the scales and weighs herself each morning.'
'...a good day is sticking within her self-imposed calorie limits.'


Ah well.  They can say what they like, doesn't mean I have to agree with it I suppose.


Day six: Have you ever been overweight or underweight?


Yes, both.  Before my pregnancy I was 7st 6lbs (105lbs) which was classed as underweight for my height.  Since my pregnancy I've been flitting between healthy and overweight and eventually was classed as obese at 12st 8lbs (176lbs).


Day seven: Do your friends and family know you are trying to lose weight?


Yes, I think so.  I haven't hidden the fact that I dislike the weight I am.  


Much love,


AK xoxo

Pain sucks

Looking at my blog stats on here today I should have just stayed away lol, I got more views.  Haven't had a single one since I returned.  Ah well, thank you to those that do read it.  :)


Today's weight = 138lbs.  Glad not to have gained because I got up this morning and Aunt Flo has arrived so I'm in pain and bloated and feel really sluggish.  Fuck.  Whilst I'm glad she's here in some respects I'm unhappy because I was finally doing well with my weight loss.  That said, I'm going to fight and remain under 140lbs at all costs.  


Brrrr I'm absolutely freezing.  I have goosebumps and everything.  The heating is on and I've got my dressing gown on and I still feel like I'm sitting in a draught.


Yesterday for lunch I had the same as the day before, 1 Crispbake, 4 veggie fingers and a bag of steamed veggies.  Need to get some more veggie products today when I head to the supermarket.  See what I can find that's nice.  I like vegetables and stuff so why not try converting to a vegetarian lifestyle.  Not committing wholly just now but it's something I'm going to look into.


At 7pm last night I got hungry and couldn't find my Tum's.  Ended up eating 2 mini packets of chicken fridge raiders (114 cals) and a packet of Transform-a-snack crisps (100 cals).  Ugh, not a huge binge but still junk I could have done without.  Burned it all off though by doing 2 and half hours of ironing which burned 354 cals.  Add the 60 minutes of ironing I did earlier that day which burned 142 cals and I was back on track, in fact I was lower than my 500 cal cap anyway.  Happy days.


Today will be a slightly tricky day because my bf and son are here for lunch and dinner.  Hmmm.  If I skip breakfast and lunch (not sure how I'll get out of that one, may just say I'm not hungry because I had a late breakfast), then I can have dinner with them and not panic too much.  I'm prepared to increase my calorie allowance for Sunday's to 700 cals.  I think that's sufficient.  Then tomorrow I'll be back down to 500.  :)  Yep yep yep. 


All I can hope for really over the next week is to maintain or at the very least stay under 140lbs.  After that it's no holds barred.


Day five: Is there any specific event you want to lose the weight for?


Not really, though I would like to look thinner on my son's birthday photographs in a few months.  I just want to lost the weight for me so I can feel comfortable in my own skin.


Much love,


AK xoxo

Much better :)

FINALLY BACK IN THE 130's!!!   So happy :)


Today's weight:  138lbs (9st 12lbs).  Excellent.


Thank you to the wonderful angel who told me about Tum's helping to curb the hunger pains.  They are a godsend.  


Yesterday's lunch consisted of a Dalepak Crisp Bake (192 cals), 4 Birdseye Veggie Fingers (220 cals) and a bag of Birdseye Steamfresh Veggies (50 cals), with a slice of Weight Watcher's malt loaf for desert (68 cals).  Total 530 cals.  


Yes, I went slightly over my 500 allowance but not by much and I'm happy with that.

Went to the cinema last night watching Haywire.  Had all of a small coke zero the entire night.  :)  I feel like I'm on top form and it's dizzying.  Love it.  And the best part is I'm learning my self discipline at long last.  It's been a long time coming.


My bones ache though :/  I may have to mention that when I go to see my GP.  At the moment I'm hoping to reach my IGW of 130lbs and then I can treat myself to a new outfit.  That will keep me motivated, I never buy myself anything except essentials like Bridget Jones knickers :D *giggles*


Today will be equally productive, I'll make sure of it.


Day four: Do you work out? How many times a week?


I do work out.  I have the Zumba DVD box set with the toning sticks so I do it every other day.  One day I will do the cardio party and the next will be the sculpt and tone.  When I'm not so engulfed in debt I'm going to fulfil my ambition of having a gym membership :)


Much love,


AK xoxo

Going The Right Way

140lbs.  Better than nothing I suppose, at least I didn't gain which is something.  Will feel better when I'm back in the 130's.


I keep getting tight pains in my chest, almost as though someone is squeezing my heart and then letting go.  But as with the hunger pains, they don't last and eventually fade.  
My period is a no show again, was due on on the 21st but apart from a lot of bloating and discomfort coupled with occasional period pains it hasn't bothered showing up.


I stuck to the plan for yesterday.  The only meal I had was lunch which consisted of a tin of Heinz vegetable soup and 2 slices of Kingsmill 50/50 Crusts Away bread for a total of 282 cals plus a packet of salt and vinegar McCoy's crisps afterwards for 165 cals.  Grand total = 447 cals.  Pretty good.


I have to say though, the hunger pains were intense this morning, but nothing a couple of Tums couldn't fix :)  Along with a cup of tea with skimmed milk.  It is difficult not to eat in front of my son because I don't want him to grow up to develop issues with food.  But I'm sick of making excuses.  My family don't think my issue is so bad because I cover it up so well.  But there has to be a point where you think 'I genuinely don't want to eat and I'm sick of altering my life to please everybody else'.  Which is something I feel I do a lot.  


Do any of you feel that way?  Like you're eating just to please others but ultimately making yourself miserable?  Honestly, it's just ridiculous.  I know I don't want to cause my family concern if I can avoid it, at the end of the day whatever it is I'm doing to myself is my issue not theirs, but naturally they will be concerned.  It's how families react I think.  But when you add up the amount of time spent eating for others it mounts up to a fair bit of food.

For example, for me, this is how I would usually eat to please people:


Monday = Fast all day so I can eat dinner with my son after school.
Tuesday = Fast all day so I can eat dinner with my son after school.
Wednesday = Eat however I please... no-one monitors me today.
Thursday = Fucking LOATHE Thursdays.  Eat lunch with Mother and dinner with my son.  Just horrible.
Friday = Fast all day so I can eat dinner with my son after school.
Saturday = Eat however I please...no-one monitors me today.
Sunday = Eat lunch and dinner with my bf and son.  Ugh.


So you see I have a grand total of 2 days a week where I'm eating the way I choose without fear of people watching, taking notice, or commenting on my habits.  Those 2 days are my blissful days, but by the same token they tend to also be my binge days BECAUSE there is nobody I have to please.  
It's like a vicious cycle.


Would be nice to know I'm not alone on this in a way though I know most of you have incredible self control compared to me lol.


Day three: Do you count calories? What is your daily calorie goal/allowance?


I do indeed count calories.  And I can't in all honesty see a future without me doing so as I do it automatically now.  It relieves my anxiety and keeps me calm knowing that what is in my home is food that I've allowed myself to play host to.  My usual daily calorie allowance is 500 cals.  Though I try to be strict with this I don't beat myself up too much if I go slightly over.  At the end of the day we are suppose to have 2000 cals a day so I'm not overly anxious about it.


Much love,


AK xoxo

Not impressed is an understatement

Weighed in this morning and I'm STILL 141 lbs!  FML!!!
What more do I need to do?!  Right, I need to rethink my eating plans.  I know for a fact I stayed under 500 cals yesterday and I had a stomach bug and all the joys that brings.  And yet I haven't lost even a lb?!  


So so so annoyed right now.  Really fed up.  The upshot of all this is that it's strengthened my resolve.


I'm going to go down to one meal a day, one decent (but still under 500 cals) meal for lunch.  The rest of the time it will be fasting, with only cups of tea/coffee/diet coke/water to drink.  So basically here's how it will break down, obviously today isn't included because I won't have fasted for as long...  :


Fast from 1pm - 12pm (23 hour fast)
Lunch (500 cals or less) (between 12 and 1 pm)


And repeat....


Fairly straightforward.  And I'm determined to stick with it this time.  I will not fuck things up again.


Day two:  What is your MAIN reason for wanting to lose weight? (Be honest).


Time for a ridiculously honest answer.  Being the weight I am now makes me miserable beyond words.  And no matter how many people tell me that I'm a healthy weight for my height, I have flab and fat where I wish I didn't and the sight of it repulses me to a point where I've asked my bf to take the mirrors down in the house.  So I guess what I'm saying is that I want to lose weight for me, so that I can look at myself without cringing.


Much love, AK xoxo

Feeling slightly better now

Whatever this virus was it seems to be out of my system and I feel like I'm on the mend.  Which I know is good but by the same token I'm a bit disappointed.  But that's just my craziness talking :)


Barely eaten all day.  Skipped breakfast and lunch, just had 2 cups of tea with skimmed milk (38 cals).  Had some dinner because I was finally feeling a bit better and the hunger pains had turned up in droves.  In fairness though I had fasted for 24 hours which is a miracle for me, that truly is a rarity and one I hope will soon turn into a regular occurrence.  I'd had nothing to eat from 2.30pm yesterday and finally ate at 5.20pm today.  Hurray for minor victories.  Really hoping for a loss on the scales in the morning.  All I had for dinner was a WeightWatcher's beef and vegetable hotpot kinda thing for 238 cals.  Not too bad really.  Pretty pleased with that.  


Let's hope I can keep it up.  No doubt I'll fuck things up tomorrow like I normally do.  I need to learn how to discipline myself properly.  That's one of the things I like about Buddhists (yes I'm still reading about them, not quite a convert yet but I don't think it will be far off, promoting inner calmness is something everyone should have and you don't worship a God), one of the things they attempt is to abstain from eating untimely meals (i.e snacking between meals and grazing throughout the day).  Now that kinda disciplined thought pattern is something I would gladly grasp with both hands and never let it go. 


Night angels,


AK xoxo

Starting the 60 day challenge again...

This is simply because I didn't get to complete it last time and it's a bit beyond the capability of a simple catch up thanks to being away for so long.


Here we go:


Weekly challenge: Pick one unhealthy food or habit you have (eg. Artificial sweetener, chocolate,eating after 8pm, skipping breakfast) and aim to go 7 days without eating/doing it.


Okay, this week I will aim to give up chocolate.  Blimey, no chocolate for 7 whole days...this certainly WILL be a challenge lol.


Day one: How tall are you, what do you currently weigh, and what do you hope to weigh after the 60 days? (Be realistic).


I am 5ft 4in.  I currently weight 10st 1lb (141 lbs).  After 60 days I hope to be close to my target weight of 8st (112 lbs).  I'm fairly sure that's a realistic goal plus the need to achieve it will keep me motivated.


Much love,


AK xoxo

Online at home :)

It's bizarre how odd it felt not having internet access at home.  You'd think that it wouldn't really matter, but it does.  I felt so alienated away from my blog.  Well I'd kinda gotten used to writing it regularly and getting things off my chest and then suddenly the ability to do that was taken away and I felt, well for lack of a better word, lost.  Anyway, I've finally installed Google Chrome on my BF's mum's spare laptop so here I am, back online for the foreseeable future.


My weight has been really up and down these last few days.  To a point where I feel like throwing my scales in the bin and winging it...on second thoughts I can't do that, I NEED to know what number I am, it keeps me more focused.


Today's weight 10st 1lb (141 lb hippo).
I can't control the binges any more.  It used to be that a binge for me was basically junk food off my restricted list, regardless of quantity.  One biscuit would be classed as a binge to me because it's full of crap, I don't need it and it will make me fatter.  But now it's turned into a full on frenzy, like bloody feeding time at the zoo.  Anything I can lay my chubby hands on gets shovelled into my mouth with my teeth working overdrive, trying to work faster to keep up.  Then the next day I have the gall to say 'Oh God, I've put 2lbs on, stupid cow'.  No one wants to listen to an out of control fat person whinge, so from now on I will keep my logs about binging brief and focus more on my successful days.  I have to accept that binging is a part of my disorder and move on.  No point dwelling on it right now.


Today I am sick.  My son has had a tummy bug/virus and he's nicely passed it on to me.  Thankfully I can't be sick unless I physically purge myself so no need to worry about that, and the sickly feeling is putting me off eating, which can only be a win-win situation.  I don't want to eat because I feel queasy, and that can, or should more to the point, result in a loss on the scales tomorrow.  Had a cup of tea for breakfast with skimmed milk (19 cals) and it made me feel slightly fuller which then brought the nausea back on.  Ironically wonderful.


I find it slightly disturbing that I'm glad to be ill because with illness comes weight loss.  Am I that obsessed?  I don't know but it certainly appears that way.


Much love,


AK xoxo

I'm Back...

Courtesy of the new library...ooh it's lush.  I can write here without fear of my family discovering my blog and musings so it is perfect and blissful.

I went to the therapy appointment and have been diagnosed as EDNOS.  This apparently is because even though I restrict which is an anorexia tendancy, I also use laxatives for purging and binge a fair bit, which is characteristic of bulimia.  Hence EDNOS.  I'm unspecified.  I'm broken and damaged and not interested in being fixed, which I explained to the lady at the appointment but she insisted I give it a try.  I'm to have 7 sessions with a dietician and a nutritionist and at least 25 therapy sessions.  Just awaiting the appointment dates now.  UGH.

It's hard to want to be treated when I'm not wholly convinced I'm doing something wrong.  I'm not screwed up, I just see things in a different light.

Anyway, now my son is back at school I'm back to my regular eating habits.  Had to alter a little to accomodate xmas.

Today's weight = 141 lbs.  (10st 1lb).

Going to try to fit in my Zumba workout at some point today, the cardio session burns around 600 cals which is awesome.  And makes you sweat like a nervous pig.  Heyho, onwards to slimmer pastures.

Also, a randomly unrelated note, I'm going to read up on Buddhism...as far as I'm aware no Buddhists waged war on other religions so I think that may suit me down to the ground and help keep me focused and aligned.

Much love,

AK xoxo

Can't wait to get my internet back...

My God, I hate being away from you all...you really keep me going. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

My posts will be done as often as I can get to a computer as mine is officially offline and gone to laptop heaven :(  RIP Lucy Laptop.

After a difficult few weeks, I broke the 140lbs plateau and went down to 136lbs, which is pretty good.  Then Christmas arrived and I binged and binged and put on 7lbs in 2 days!  Shocking.  Fat wench!!!

Anyway, onwards and upwards.  Managed to lose that half a stone now so am back to 140lbs, which ironically is a relief.  Off to the EDU (Eating Disorder Unit) on the 10th Jan, so not looking forward to that very much.

I love this, a new start, a new year and all that.

Hope you've all had a fantastic Christmas and didn't indulge in ridiculous amounts of gluttony like I did...ugh.

:)  All my love, and motivational thinspirational thoughts, AK xoxo

Absence Ahoy

My goodness angels, a lot has happened while I've been away.  Gosh I've missed you all so much.  I'm currently on my BF's computer so have to be quick.  Must make sure to delete browsing history.  Anyway...

My weight has fluctuated but I'm back at 10st (140lbs) again so that sucks a bit.
My doc has upped my AD's to a higher dosage because I'm 'unstable'.  Don't make me laugh!
He's also referred me for therapy.  Now... My last therapist was as much use as a chocolate teapot so I went in with very low hopes.  Unfortunately she was really insightful and has spotted the tell tale signs of me screwing with my body and has referred me to the EDU (Eating Disorder Unit).  I'll keep you posted.

My laptop is officially dead and in for repairs, but hopefully I can get on here via the library internet so I can update you better without fear of being caught.

I love you all.  I hope you're all okay.

Much love,

AK xoxo

Temperamental Technology

Apologies for my absence, my laptop keeps crashing :/ Need a new one ideally but with Christmas around the corner it will have to wait.


Not had a good couple of days really, I succumbed to allow Heffy to take control, much to Connie's dismay and anger.  Tomorrow I need to push Heffy aside and allow Connie a bit of free reign to even the balance.  Was good as gold all day, I even relished the emptiness of my stomach as it applauded my efforts.  And then as per usual I go and fuck up all my hard work by eating junk food.  Today's junk food = KFC!  And whilst I suppose it WAS finger licking good, it definitely wasn't worth it.  Can't wait to get my Zumba dvd's so I can indulge in a workout I will enjoy and get the body that I really want...thin slender and sleek...more to the point, beautiful.  God, how I long to look in the mirror and see something beautiful staring back at me.


Just took some lax's, haven't been for almost a week now and my tummy is more bloated and distorted than usual :/


Tomorrow is a brand new day... smile and be happy....


::dreading the scales, the numbers just keep on rising::


Much love,


AK xoxo

A Common Myth

Okay, I wasn't going to wax lyrical about this at all, but seeing as how quite a few blogs I've come across mention the same thing I feel I should post about this.


Myth:  That muscle weighs heavier than fat.


WRONG!


Alright, now you want me to prove it?  Fine.


I, like many, thought that muscle weighs heavier than fat and I was shocked and a bit surprised to learn different.  When I joined a slimming club earlier this year the consultant said to me 'You do know that muscle and fat weigh the same?' (or something along that line) so I asked her to prove her theory.  She then asked me a question 'Which weighs heavier, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?'.  So I automatically said bricks, because in my mind they are the heavier object.  To which she smugly replied 'No, they're equal.'  This got me thinking.


Then I grasped what she was saying.  A pound of weight is still a pound of weight regardless of the object being weighed, it's just the quantity of the object that varies.  A pound of bricks weighs exactly the same as a pound of feathers, the only difference is that you'd need fewer bricks to make the weight of a pound than you would with feathers.  So you see, it's only the quantity that's changed.


So a pound of muscle weighs the same as a pound of fat, the difference being you need less muscle to make up the pound in weight than you do with fat.  Fat takes up more space in the body than muscle.  


Don't believe me?  Here's some visuals...






Much love,  AK xoxo

Scales and Heidi

Feeling very positive today.  The scales say I'm down to 141 which is wonderful. I was aiming to be down to 140 by today but a pound out is okay in my book as this is the lowest weight I've been in 6 years.  Very thrilled.


Main food swaps I've done so far:


Semi-skimmed milk for Skimmed milk
White bread for brown/wholemeal bread
Full fat margarine for light margarine
Full fat yoghurts for low fat/fat free yoghurts
Flavoured water for plain water
Full fat coke/pepsi for diet coke/pepsi


Foods I've cut out completely:


Cheese
Sugar and artificial sweetener on cereal and in hot drinks.
Cakes


I've lost 19lbs since I started calorie counting at the end of September.  I'm aiming to get down to 125 by Christmas.  That equates to 16lbs that I need to lose to hit that target so I need to lose 2.6lbs a week, I'll round that up to 3.  Let the countdown begin :)  Whatever it takes!


Also, I did my bust, waist and hip measurements at my bf's the other day...it makes for grim reading...


Bust = 32"
Waist = 32"
Hips = 42"


That is just terrible...fat bitch!  I absolutely disgust myself.  Well come Christmas that will have changed...I fucking promise.  I'm going to do all I can to change those numbers and right now, no method is too fucking drastic!  


Right, rant over...


Continuing with the countdown :)
Positive, positive, positive!


Time for some pictures of one of my favourite slim ladies... the gorgeous Heidi Klum...  Enjoy!
















Much love,


AK xoxo

Good to be home

Finally home...been at my bf's for a few days after my son's surgery.  His surgery went well but his recovery after the anasthetic was very slow so they kept him in overnight.  Not weighed myself since Tuesday so looking forward to tomorrow morning :)  Pretty confident that I've lost something.  I hope I have, I've stuck to the HSGD.  But I've had very little exercise as I've been looking after my son who's been on bed rest.


Missed you all tons.  Problem with being at my bf's is that he watches me like a hawk so really happy to be home alone again :D


How are you all doing?  Updates please :D  Off to read all your blogs to see what I've missed.


Much love,


AK xoxo

I was super excited when I saw this.  A friend of mine on Facebook posted it and I think I'm going to try it.  If I can see it through to the end then I'll take another stab at the water fasting.  Bear in mind that although the cals seem high, you're not obliged to eat that much unless you want to.  Entirely up to you I think.  You're just not meant to exceed the cal limit.


So starting tomorrow this is the diet plan I will be following.  :)


I'm so giddy, at last, a diet I think I could really stick to ::grins::


Much love,


AK xoxo

Healthy Skinny Girl Diet

Looking forward to the challenge

Tomorrow I'm starting my preparation for the 5 day water fast that I want to do.


Having never had much success in fasting before I think I need to break my body in gently so I don't put it in a state of shock.  So here's what I plan to do:


Tomorrow - Water only until lunchtime.  Then a maximum of 500 cals for lunch and dinner.
Wednesday - Breakfast and lunch then nothing but water until the next day.  (The swap around is necessary as I'm at hospital with my son for his surgery)
Thursday - Water only until lunchtime.  Lunch as normal if Mother is here, otherwise I'll just stay on water until dinner.
Friday - Water only until dinner then a max of 500 cal meal.
Saturday - Begin water fast.


Fingers crossed I'll be able to cope.  :)  Wish me luck xoxo

Water fasting time.

I'm embarking on a five day water fast in a bid to get this weight shifted.  The scales this morning say I've lost another pound and am down to 143.  Which, don't get me wrong, is good because the scales are going the right way, I want more.  That makes me sound greedy doesn't it?  But I figure, I can have more so why shouldn't I?  :)
Gosh I'm freezing, this house is sooooo cold right now.  I'm wrapped up in my dressing gown on the sofa and I'm still shivering.  Wish the heating would hurry up and get the house warm already, I switched it on over half an hour ago.  Lol, look at me all impatient.
I know that water fasting will attract unwanted attention to my lack of eating habits from my bf and family so I'm going to tell them I'm doing a detox plan.  I've already told my bf that I'm doing a five day water only detox and whilst he's being supportive I see the concern flash in his eyes.  I reassured him it's only five days and that when I tried it last time I only got to 20 hours before I ate something so not to worry too much.  This made him smile but I can tell he's going to be keeping an eye on me, which I suppose is good in its own way.
I want to be down to at least 130 by the end of November, so I really need to become more motivated and focused.  My calorie counting has worked so far but I need to pick up the pace.  Focus AK focus!


Day Five (60 Day Challenge) - Is there a specific event you want to lose weight for?
Put simply, yes, there is.  Christmas.  On all the Christmas photographs from the last five years I look horrible.  Bloated, fat, chunky, chubby cheeked, huge fucking whale of a woman and nobody ever says a thing.  No one ever says I look lovely, or that being at that weight suits me.  So I now assume it doesn't.  I'm down to the lowest weight I've been in five years so at least I know that this year I won't look AS fat on the Christmas photo's, but I'm a long way from happy.  Christmas is my goal to reach at least 120.  I'm sure I can do it.  :)


That's all for now, will update later.


Much love,


AK xoxo

Day Four of the Points Diet

Quick update...


Done pretty well today...here's how the points added up:


+10 (ate under cals)
+3 (8 cups of liquid)
+3 (2 cups of green tea)
+3 (8 hrs sleep)
+12 (60 mins exercise)
+2 (one on one time)
Total = 33 pts.


-1 (cup of diet cherry coke)
Total deducted = 1.


Total points for the day = 32.


Very pleased indeed.  Tried super hard today and it paid off. 


Total pts so far by the end of day four = 86.


Back on track angels :D


AK xoxo

Day Three of the Points Diet

Did fairly well yesterday.  Set myself a calorie limit of 800 which I stuck to for a change lol.


Points breakdown:


+10 (Ate under my calorie goal)
+3 (8 cups of liquid)
+12 (60 minutes of exercise)
+2 (one on one time)
Total = 27 pts.


-1 (Glass of diet cherry coke)
-4 (Junk food :-/, naughty girl)
-5 (Less than 5 hours sleep)
Total points deducted = 10 pts.


Total for the day = 17.


Not as brilliant as I thought but still better than the previous day which is all I could ask for.  The scales say I'm back down to 144 which is good, at least I'm going the right way again lol :D


Will try even harder today.  It's only 8am and I've already had 2 glasses of water, worked up a sweat cleaning and scrubbing the oven so I'm counting that as exercise.  It took me 20 minutes and a lot of elbow grease as they say but it sparkles now.  I also had a better nights sleep, 9 solid hours!  I must have needed that.  Feel refreshed  and energized today.  Still have a lot of housework to do, plus I'm going to implement my new fitness regime this evening... 30 sit ups, 100 jumping jacks, 30 leg lifts, 100 squats, 30 second wall sit and maybe some weights, I haven't decided yet.  That way I can put my own music on while I workout instead of listening to the cheesy pop Davina has on lol.
Feeling super motivated today :D


Day Four (60 Day Challenge) - Do you work out?  How many times a week?
Okay, this is a tricky one because it varies from week to week though I am trying now to establish a routine.  Usually I fit at least 3 workouts of some description, whether it be a high impact aerobics workout, an hour of intense housework that breaks me into a sweat or a long brisk walk somewhere or whatever else I can fit into my day.  I walk every day, though not briskly but hell, exercise is exercise right?  :)


On a completely unrelated note, I can't stop listening to Alkaline Trio....they're so good :D


Much love,


AK xoxo

Yesterday

Sorry for the super short post yesterday angels.  My bf came to pick me up.


Was so disappointed in my score yesterday it's unbelievable.  Silly silly girl.  Made up for it today though, will post my score later on as I'm going to do a workout in a while once I've finished cleaning the kitchen.
Not been able to weigh myself tonight as I stayed at my bf's last night and he doesn't know where his Mother's scales are. By the time he dropped me off at home I'd already had breakfast and lunch so will not bother weighing today, will do it in the morning.
Had a terrible night sleep last night.  Went to sleep around 11pm and woke up at 3.30am, completely wide awake.  WTF?!  Went downstairs and made a cup of tea with skimmed milk and ended up reading Charles Dickens - The Old Curiosity Shop until our son woke up at 7.30am.  :/ indeed.
Ah well.


Today has been slightly more productive, I lacked motivation so much yesterday.  And yet, for all today has been better, my mood is low and I just want to curl up in bed and not greet the world until noon tomorrow.  Ugh.


Day Two (yesterday) (60 Day Challenge) - What is your MAIN reason for wanting to lose weight?  (Be honest)
Honestly, I want to lost weight so the reflection in the mirror looks pleasing to the eye compared to the hugely fat pig I currently see.


Day Three (60 Day Challenge) - Do you calorie count?  What is your daily calorie goal/allowance?
I do calorie count, I think it helps me to stay in better control over what I'm putting into my body.  I alter my calorie limit every day but I always aim for less than 1000 cals.  Anything higher than that is considered a failure of a day and tomorrow I must compensate for my lapse in control.


Much love,


AK xoxo

Day Two of the Points Diet...

Today's points are as follows:


+3 (2 cups of green tea)
+8 (40 mins of exercise)
+2 (one on one time)
Total = 13 pts.


-1 (glass of diet coke)
-1 (100 cals of junk food)
Total deducted = 2 pts.


Total daily pts = 11.


Dismal...really dismal.


AK xoxo

The 60 Day Challenge.

I stole this from La Fille De Mont Noir, I hope she doesn't mind :)

The 60 Day Challenge

Week One!

Weekly challenge: Pick one unhealthy food or habit you have (eg. Artificial sweetener, chocolate,eating after 8pm, skipping breakfast) and aim to go 7 days without eating/doing it.

Day one: How tall are you, what do you currently weigh, and what do you hope to weigh after the 60 days? (Be realistic).
Day two: What is your MAIN reason for wanting to lose weight? (Be honest.)
Day three: Do you count calories? What is your daily calorie goal/allowance?
Day four: Do you work out? How many times a week?
Day five: Is there any specific event you want to lose the weight for?
Day six: Have you ever been overweight or underweight?
Day seven: Do your friends and family know you are trying to lose weight?

Week Two!
If you broke your unhealthy habit for one week, congratulations! Why not try two weeks?

Weekly challenge: Get organised! This week try to plan tomorrow’s meal the night before.

Day eight: Name 5 things you like about your body (you can do it) and the one body part you’d like to change the most.
Day nine: What is your favourite food, healthy or unhealthy.
Day ten: Do you eat breakfast? What do you usually have?
Day eleven: What are your family’s eating habits like?
Day twelve: What are your friend’s eating habits like?
Day thirteen: Is your diet ever negatively influenced by your friends? Do they pressure/tempt you to eat unhealthy food?
Day fourteen: Do you ever allow yourself a “rest day” from exercise or a “cheat day” from your diet?

Week three!
Weekly challenge: Add an extra 30 minutes to each work out this week, or if you weren’t going to work out at all one day, work out for 30 minutes!

Day fifteen: What is your favourite kind of exercise?
Day sixteen: Have you ever missed a work out just because you couldn’t be bothered?
Day seventeen: Have you ever been called fat? Or skinny?
Day eighteen: Do you have to eat any meals with your family? Are they for or against your diet?
Day nineteen: Have you ever lied to avoid eating something?
Day twenty: Do you binge? How often and what triggers it?
Day twenty-one: Do you listen to music when you work out?

Week four!

Weekly challenge: Switch up your diet. Try one fruit and one vegetable you’ve never tried before, and learn how to cook a new healthy meal.

Day twenty-two: Are you generally smaller or larger than your friends?
Day twenty-three: Do you feel that your weight holds you back socially?
Day twenty-four: Is losing weight one of your top priorities in life?
Day twenty-five: Do you ever eat fast food?
Day twenty-six: Do you drink alcohol? What do you generally drink?
Day twenty-seven: Does shark week make you hungrier than usual, and do you allow yourself to eat more at this time of the month?
Day twenty-eight: Are there any foods or drinks that you have completely banned yourself from consuming, or do you believe in everything in moderation?

WE’RE HALF WAY THERE! How are you guys going? Don’t worry if you’ve messed up a few times, it happens to the best of us. The important thing is that you’ve made it this far and you’re still going. I’m proud of you & be proud of yourself!

Week 5!

Weekly challenge: Go and buy yourself a nice item of clothing one size too small, hang it somewhere visible. Think about how good it will feel when you can fit it!

Day twenty-nine: What is your current weight? Have you lost, gained, or maintained your weight since day one?
Day thirty: Do you have rewards for reaching goal weight? What are they?
Day thirty-one: What are your favourite healthy snacks?
Day thirty-two: What is your weakness/one food you just can’t say no to?
Day thirty-three: Will you continue to count calories once you reach your ultimate goal weight?
Day thirty-four: Will you continue with the same exercise routine once you reach your ultimate goal weight?
Day thirty-five: Do you mainly do cardio, strength training, or both?

Week 6!

Weekly challenge: Focus on one area of your body (eg. Arms/abs) and work hard on it every day of the week, I bet you’ll see a difference after 7 days!

Day thirty-six: What’s one item of clothing you’d like to wear after losing weight?
Day thirty-seven: What do you wear when you go swimming/to the beach?
Day thirty-eight: What do you generally order if you have to eat out at a restaurant?
Day thirty-nine: What has been the hardest thing you’ve had to give up?
Day forty: Have you gained weight at any point of your journey? How did this effect you?
Day forty-one: Do you drink tea or coffee?
Day forty-two: What is the meaning of life? Just kidding. If you feel happy with the way your body looks before you reach your ultimate goal weight, will you continue to try and lose weight, or will you aim to maintain?

Week 7!

Weekly challenge: Aim to have a completely “clean food” week, avoid all processed food!

Day forty-three: Apart from weight loss, have you noticed any other benefits from your healthy diet?

Day forty-four: Do you drink green tea? (If you don’t you should. Seriously.)
Day forty-five: Who is your main inspiration to lose weight? Not a celebrity, someone from real life.
Day forty-six: Do you have a favourite motivational quote?
Day forty-seven: Have you ever come close to giving up? What made you change your mind?
Day forty-eight: Did you start losing weight before making your blog?
Day forty-nine: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve done in an attempt to lose weight?

Week 8!

Weekly challenge: Treat yourself. You’ve come so far already! Even if you haven’t lost any weight, you deserve to treat yourself for not giving up. Paint your nails, go shopping, go to a movie, get your hair done, anything that makes you feel good about yourself!

Day fifty: What’s the most calories you’ve consumed in one day? Why?
Day fifty-one: What’s the least calories you’ve consumed in one day? Why?
Day fifty-three: What’s something you’ve done to make yourself proud?
Day fifty-four: Can you see any noticeable changes in your body?
Day fifty-five: Do you believe this is a lifestyle change, and you will be able to continue with a healthy, active lifestyle for the rest of your life?
Day fifty-six: What have you enjoyed most about your weight loss journey?

Day fifty-seven: What is your current weight? Have you lost any weight since day one?

DONE! Congratulations if you’ve lost weight! And congratulations even if you haven’t, it takes a lot of dedication to keep on going even with minimal results. I hope you guys found this motivating and helpful 


(This quote was taken from La Fille De Mont Noir's blog - The Skinny Girl Project - http://lemontnoir.blogspot.com/  )