I really really hate myself right now. Binged myself stupid and now the self loathing is setting in. It starts by me feeling sick over what I've eaten, then I hate myself for being weak, then I can think of nothing but ridding myself of it all, then ultimately I sit feeling the deepest loathing for myself and refusing to purge because I DESERVE to gain weight. Fat fucking ugly fuck!
I feel sick and stupid. Only idiots put themselves through all this crap.
Anyway time for bed before I do something stupid. Glad I feel ill, might be able to fast tomorrow. Fuck knows I need it. Stupid weak pitiful bitch.
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