Just want to say a quick hello to everyone reading this.  It means a lot to me to know that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do :)


Not much has happened since my last post really.  I got a phone call from a lady at the Willows ED Services who wanted to book me in for my first therapy appointment on Thursday 16th Feb.  Will let you know how I get on with that.  Am very apprehensive about it all.  


My disorder is worsening, there's no denying that.  I was talking to my BF about it last night.  Over the past few days I've started getting the urge to make myself sick.  This disturbs me a bit.  So far I haven't but it seems like when I eat something, a few mouthfuls in my stomach tightens as if my body is telling me I've had enough and then afterwards I have the most intense feeling of nausea.  All I can think about then is making myself sick so I can feel some sort of relief.
I wonder if I did it once to get the relief I need whether I would be able to stop or whether I would be setting myself off on a slippery slope?


Has anyone else experienced this?  I would really appreciate some advice.  In the meantime I continue to feel sick and uncomfortable.


Time to take my mind off it all.  Time for a workout.

Week three!
Weekly challenge: Add an extra 30 minutes to each work out this week, or if you weren’t going to work out at all one day, work out for 30 minutes!

Day fifteen: What is your favourite kind of exercise?

Day sixteen: Have you ever missed a work out just because you couldn’t be bothered?

Day seventeen: Have you ever been called fat? Or skinny?

Day eighteen: Do you have to eat any meals with your family? Are they for or against your diet?

Day nineteen: Have you ever lied to avoid eating something?

Day twenty: Do you binge? How often and what triggers it?

15.  My favourite exercise is aerobics and zumba.  They both make my adrenaline rush and make me feel great.

16.  I'm ashamed to say yes, most often at the moment.

17.  I've never been called fat but I was called skinny quite a lot before I was pregnant.

18.  I don't have to eat anything I don't want to.  I choose to eat with my family but if I don't want to I don't plan on offering them an explanation.  They are against my dieting and not remotely supportive of me with my disorder so there you have it.  I am mostly alone.

19.  Yeah, a few times I've said I'm not feeling well to avoid eating and I've also said I only had meals later than I had.

20.  I do binge, at the moment it seems like every other day.  My main trigger is being alone in the house.  I'm more in control if there are people here.

Much love,

AK xoxo