The rest of the day has gone pretty well, though the hunger pangs and rumbling tummy bothered me a little around 10am and 2pm, but it was nothing I couldn't cope with. After all, it's very obvious that I'm not starving myself but I do wonder if counting calories is my way of restricting?

I know I'm supposed to consume 2000 calories a day but even to me that seems like a lot. But at the end of the day I want to lose weight and be thinner, so I have to restrict something to achieve the weight loss. Not sure what lengths I will go to to become thinner, but I have a feeling of self satisfaction already, knowing that I haven't consumed as much as I am supposed to.

It's an odd mixture of achievement and anxiety. The achievement is self explanatory. The anxiety of treading down the road with only Ana for company worries me a little. I'm pretty sure that since it's only day one that I'm still in control. But who knows where my dieting journey will take me.

I do wonder though, if Ana is a state of mind in some ways. Like the urge to eat less or restrict or starve oneself is ingrained into our psyche from an earlier point in life. Maybe some people are more prone to eating disorders than others. I don't know really. All I know is that I'm so disgusted with the lady in the mirror that I imagine I will do anything to change her. Well, almost anything.

My intake for the rest of the day was pretty low but I'm not hungry or eating junk food so I think that is pretty satisfying.

Mid Afternoon snack: 1 strawberry low fat yoghurt - 98 cals.

3 glasses of water - 0 cals.

NB: The drinks of water help to curb the hunger pangs a little.

Dinner: 1 small box of raisins: 41 cals.

1 cup of tea with 50 mls semi skimmed milk and 2 sweetener tabs - 28.8 cals.

Evening: 1 glass of water - 0 cals.

I'm not overly hungry, but I do think that on a normal day I would have eaten myself out of house and home as they say.

Narrowly dodged a few questions from my BF though. He knows all about my eating history and was present for a lot of it as we have been together for 8 years. He came in from work, sat on the sofa while our son ate his dinner and asked me what I was having for my dinner. I told him I'd already eaten and when he asked what I'd had I lied and said a cup-o-soup. Why did I lie? Because I don't want him to worry unduly and all that because I'm okay. So far.

Then he offered me some chocolate and I said 'no thanks, I'm not hungry'.

I think that sometimes I may have to indulge the people I love otherwise they will start to worry. As long as I know I'm okay then I'm not going to see them worry or get upset over my eating habits.

Anyway, the total daily calorie intake was 387.6. Very low indeed. Will see what the scales say tomorrow. Night angels.

GSK xoxo